I am frequently dumbfounded -- bamboozled, if you will -- by some of the stuff kids turn in for credit. I got a worksheet on isosceles triangles when I took up homework the other day. This is only interesting for two reasons. First, I teach English. Second, the worksheet wasn't complete. In fact, none of the problems had been solved.
A colleague of mine recently showed me some papers her students had turned in. They were instructed to write an essay on a true-life hero. Obviously, one of the criteria was that the subject of the paper had to be a REAL person. The person also had to display certain heroic qualities.
After I glanced at a few papers on Harry Potter, I saw a paper with the heading "Martin Luther King" emblazoned across the top. I thought I was in store for a treat. I guess I was, in a way, but it was the kind of treat with a surprise filling on the inside. Maybe a surprise filling that tastes like earwax. As I read the first paragraph, I was confused. I never knew Martin Luther King was outspoken against the Cathlic [sic] church. I knew he was a champion of many causes, but I wasn't familiar with this one. He was Baptist, so I could see where this might go. Of course, I had to read the line, "So Martin Luther King nailed a document to the door of a church in Germany," before I got the joke.
Only it wasn't a joke. This was a paper. A kid turned this in for an actual grade.
Like I said, get your emergency supplies now.
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This post serves to support my theory that teaching must be one of the funniest, if not also frightening, jobs ever. I have only mock-taught (for classes of yesteryear), but I did coach kids in athletics for years, and they were always saying the most bizarre, completely inaccurate things. Thankfully I only had to teach them how to pivot and not travel.
Also thinking to myself: I so do not miss geometry, although "acute" is a rather neat word.
yikes...
What joke? I don't get it. I'm glad Martin Luther King stuck it to those Germans. Messed up their front door and everything. Marty rulez!!!
Okay... true story of when I taught 9th grade world history:
The assignment: A test-grade level project. The students were to chose one of three project options relating to Germany and the first World War.
One of the options was to create a "propaganda poster" like those used by both Germany and the United States.
The result: One student turned in a poster of a thousand ants crawling into a soldiers uniform with the tag line, "Germany: We're the ants in France's pants."
Oh.My.Word. Well, you win the "diet coke through the nose" prize this morning. I teach a college class...junior/senior level, no less, and I'm frequently astonished at the abysmal state of their papers. I guess we really should be stocking up!
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