That's right, folks. McDonald's has brought the McRib* sandwich - a savory boneless pressed pork-product patty slathered in some kind of McMystery barbequeish sauce and topped with pickles and onions - back to a store near you. We saw the commercial for this delectable delicacy** last night, a commercial which includes a man wearing a black t-shirt emblazoned with the words "Viva McRib!!!!," and this is what ensued:
Me: Mmmmm. McRib.
Nolan: If all of the food in the world evaporated, and there was nothing left except for one McRib sandwich, and I was starving, and someone offered the sandwich to me, I think I'd be like 'Nah. That's all right. I'm good.'
Me: Even if they left off the pickles?
Nolan: Uh, yeah.
* Spell-check would have me change "McRib" to "microbe." Coincidence?
**By "delectable" I mean "obscenely repulsive" and by "delicacy" I mean "meat patty made of discarded pork products and the skins of unruly McDonald's customers."
4 comments:
I'm pretty weird about meat and have been for years (meaning that I only eat SOME meat and I'm picky about what meat that is). However, I had a McRib one time when I was in high school maybe and really liked it for some reason. I haven't had one since, but I have this memory of it being tasty, so when they bring it back out (for this is not the first time it's re-appeared), I am always a little drawn to the thought of it.
Then I remember that they take pork bits and actually SHAPE THEM INTO THE SHAPE OF RIBS and I throw up a little in my mouth. Desire gone.
How dare you slander the McRib, King of all processed pork by-product sandwiches!
McRib, forever! Unprocessed pig testicles, never!
Please don't ever link to anything on foodfacts.info again. I just had to clean vomit from my office floor.
So, funny story:
Kathy and my roommates used to watch The Osbournes a lot in college (who knows why, really). During my junior year, the McRib apparently came back for the first of many times, and Jack Osbourne was VERY excited about it. I think he saw the sign announcing its return while he and Kelly were riding around in their limo, and he started yelling "McRib is back! McRib is back!" And of course she made fun of him for getting so excited. This is not the story. The story comes up in the next paragraph.
Kathy and I were bored one night after I got home from working at the overpriced and overrated (and only) coffeeshop in Clemson, so we made a HUGE pot of pasta. I think it was probably vermicelli because she used to cook this Lebanese rice stuff with vermicelli and butter and chicken broth, but that's neither here nor there. We took the extravagant amount of pasta that we had made (al dente of course, because that's the only way it will stick to walls) and threw it all over our cabinets and ourselves. We posed for pictures with pasta on our heads, as mustaches, and the best picture of all was the one where we spelled out "McRib is back" on the cabinets as a homage to the great sloppy, saucy sandwich itself. I still have all of those pictures hidden away, and I still hold a special place in my heart for the McRib. Awwww, I miss college.
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