I've already mentioned that I don't ever want to work at the "Lost Baggage" desk in an airport. I've also probably killed any chances of ever going back to work at Honeybaked Hell, er, Ham. Not that I ever wanted to go back there anyway. Did I mention that Honeybaked Ham tastes like burnt hair? Because it does. And the reason I know this is because they fed us ham sandwiches on our lunch breaks. Every. single. day.
Anyway, the incident at the baggage claim desk the other evening got me thinking about other jobs I would never, ever want. And I made a list of these jobs, just for you.
1. Roofer. In Florida. In July.
2. President of the United States
3. President of anything else, for that matter
4. Public bus driver
5. Working in a meat or poultry processing plant
6. Postal Worker
7. Sewage treatment plant worker
8. Podiatrist
9. Gastroenterologist
10. Toll-booth worker
11. Crab-picker (to be construed however you wish - I don't want it either way)
12. Alabama football coach (although, when they fire you, it's a pretty rich gig. I'll definitely take $63,000 a month for NOT coaching Alabama football.)
13. Dubya's PR guy
14. Insulation installer
15. Street prostitute
I think that pretty much covers it, although I've stumbled across a website detailing the worst jobs in history, from the Roman/Anglo-Saxon era of England to its Victorian Age. If any of these jobs currently existed, rest assured that they would be welcome additions to my list.
What about you? Which jobs would make your list?
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7 comments:
The person who has to squeeze your dog's anal gland at the vet/groomer
I used to drive a school bus. Does that count? Actually, in Jessamine Co., its not a bad gig. Pays well. You get to drive a big yellow bus and when the kids get on your nerves, just stomp on the air brakes and watch em all fly up a few seats. Ah, good times. good times.
I also used to clean an elementary school which would qualify under your sewage treatment plant worker, gastroenterologist and possibly crab picker.
Now dog anal gland squeezer, that's real living....
I'd have to say that ANYTHING involving ANY anal gland -- not a job I want.
I'm going to just venture out on a limb and say that none of us are vying for any job that touts the words "anal gland" in its description. Anal gland squeezing isn't exactly something one aspires to, is it?
there are days when I would add "pastor" to the list...just kidding (partially!)
a guy from my church is a parole officer for convicted sex offenders...talk about a job that makes you want to jump off a bridge! I'd rather empty anal glands, in all honesty...
Well, it's taken me a while to comment because I was unaware that your blog had been updated. Anyway, after reading all the 'anal gland' comments, I think I've changed my mind about ever getting a dog. As for the last one, street prostitute: was the 'street' part necessary? Like, being a street prostitute sucks but working in a brothel is sooo much better? But, even that is topped (no pun) by working as a call girl for wealthy old men? "Make money at home! No startup fees necessary! Set your own hours!"
Hm. Good point, Laura.
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