Probably the Best Advice...yada, yada, yada

Why are so many people suddenly gripped by the need to always wear their cell phone headsets? People wear them in restaurants, in bars, in the grocery store, in the movie theatre, wherever an emergency might strike and they only have thismuchtime to answer the phone or KABLOOEY -- the end of the world would be upon us. Thank goodness they have their headsets in...who knows how many times we have been saved from total, annihilating catastrophes.

Not to mention, the headset has become the new "It" accessory. Like bangle bracelets or jams (the shorts, people, not the kind you eat), perhaps cell phone headsets are just a fad that will end as soon as it has begun. But it seems to be spreading. Like a fungus. Like smallpox. Like something that has become the very bane of my existence. Here's the tip, everyone: Cell phone headsets do not make you look cool, important, sexy, rich, successful, or any other imaginable positive adjective. Believe me, when you wear that thing out in public, you look like this guy:

And if you think he looks cool, you are in a place beyond my help. You can learn nothing from my pearls of wisdom. Something by this guy may be more your speed.