I can only conclude that I must have done something in my early years to turn karma so forcibly against me, because today I spent my precious Saturday in a high school auditorium in the first of 9 seminars designed to procure for me an honest-to-goodness teaching certificate. (It seems the state of Texas would like me to be certified by the end of my first year or else they'll fire me or some such nonsense.) In any case, I have to take these classes, and most of them happen to be scheduled from 8:30 to 4:00 on Saturdays. AND I have to pay for these classes. Karma, why dost thou mock me?!?
As usual, I set my expectations low. Nothing good can come when an organization requires you to arrive somewhere on a Saturday morning dressed in "business casual" attire. Sometimes, when I set my expectations EXTREMELY low, I end up being pleasantly surprised -- like when I go to see a Will Ferrell movie. Things are rarely as bad as I imagine them to be.
Except, of course, in this case. Because today, my Internet friends, I spent the day listening to a couple of folks explaining how to land my very first teaching job. Does anyone see the problem here? Anyone? I ALREADY HAVE MY FIRST TEACHING JOB! And I don't even like it!!!
The cherry on top was, of course, the hour-long speech about what NOT to wear to a job interview. Complete with Power Point presentation. And I couldn't help thinking to myself, call me crazy, but if you're having trouble deciding whether or not to wear your favorite leather-n-lace ensemble to a job interview, you probably shouldn't get a job. Unless you're interviewing at the Boobie Bungalow.
8 comments:
It's why 1/3 of all 1st year teachers quit. Not the kid -- the inane bullshittery that the school system makes you go through for licensing.
1/3?? Really?
Do you get Monday off (this week - Feb. 18th)? It's Family Day. :)
YES. 1/3. I was surprised it wasn't more, frankly.
Also, no, we did not (alas) get Prez Day off. Because clearly our school board sucks the cock of satan.
Just sayin.
We didn't get today off, either. Dammit.
How dare your school board not honor the memory of our nation's Presidents. When will you have time to contemplate highlights in our nation's presidential history like the Teapot Dome Scandal, Nixon's resignation, "Mission Accomplished" on an aircraft carrier, and the moment Monica presented the stained dress?
It's an indignity I tell you. I'm outraged!
No wonder that whole state is going to hell in a hand basket, complete with a concealed weapon in its pocket and a "Jeb and Jenna in 2012" bumper sticker on it's back window. Ought to just trade the whole deal back to Mexico for a package of tortillas and the new Menudo album.
Hang in there Hotsy. Summer vacation is just around the corner.
You would think that TEXAS would give you President's Day off. I mean, think about it: TEXAS gave us 3 presidents, all of whom started wars based on false pretense that never fully "defeated the enemy" thus never really ending the war... just sort of fizzling out and them leaving office with really bad approval ratings.
Welcome to TEXAS, where our greatest battle-field memory was our most complete defeat.
BOOBIE BUNGALOW!
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